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This Aug. This columnist has written the invitation to Netflix's Halloween party, "which should be a really fun event. We hope you are excited for our upcoming Halloween Party this weekend, which should be a really fun event.

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Costumes will be mandatory, as always, and we will be repeating our company-wide costume contest from last year, with a special prize for the best-dressed witch, who will be named The Witchest. Please note that COVID masks will take priority over costume masks, so please choose your costume responsibly to make sure we can maintain a safe celebration environment.

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However, we have a whole new slate of fun theme-appropriate games to go with our award-winning offerings! We call it: Squid Game.

Employees will be asked to refrain from making suggestive sounds and gestures while eating the squid. If you do cross the line, other players can try to have you thrown out of the game, at which point management will decide which of you they care more about, and throw the less important player out of the game.

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Fireworks will be prohibited at the event, although for those of you who crave explosions, we will be making Molotov cocktails using tampons as fuses. Children under 18 will not be allowed near the Lady Dynamite, and so we have a special family fun zone where children can be entertained by our royal juggler Elizabeth, or as she prefers to be known, The Clown. But look fast, because if she catches you, security will escort you out of the building.

Peeky Binders! And finally, before leaving the party, all employees who have not already done so this month are reminded that they must buff and polish the cars of our co-CEOs Reed Hastings and Ted Sarandos, until both cars look like new. As you know, all employees are required to do this every month, as stipulated in your contract.

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You may not recall this clause from when we initially hired you, but we assure you that it remains active, and so it is your duty to complete the October buffing and polishing before November. His website is RisingPun. Edit Close.

Singles in Oregon, USA

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